The Stanley Cup Finals: Scarlett Johannsen vs The New York Times

Soulja Boy Tell Em did the Star Spangled Banner

Morgan Freeman, the Spice Girls, Skrillex, John Mayer and Hillary Clinton were in attendance.

As Scarlett and the Times were getting ready to go on the ice for the big game, something shocking happened. Johannsen was disqualified for taking illegal supplements (bath salts and badger tranquilizers) and bit off the necks of the Times. Turns out the Times players were abusing Dayquil. They were gushing blood all over as Scarlett spat out chunks of flesh and started chanting around the field. One of the rules in hockey is not eating other players.

So with Scarlett in prison and the Times dead, there were replacements made for the Finals. Since Lord Voldemort was such a fan favorite and was at the event, he was called into action as well as The Jacksonville Jaguars and Waluigi and Plankton. For first time ever, they were combining multiple teams. It was Lord Voldemort and Waluigi vs Jags and Plankton.

Lord Voldemort and Waluigi were like Starsky and Hutch like Hansel and Zoolander and played great and clean hockey. All of Voldemort’s passes went to Waluigi and vice versa which shows teamwork.

Waluigi and Lord Voldemort are your 2015 Stanley Cup Champions! Buy your Walugi and Voldemort Championship gear today!


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